It’s OK to ask for help. I have always been an “I can do it myself” type of person. I like not having to need/or lean on someone for help. I also like the satisfaction of knowing that I can do something new if I set my mind to it. I am the type of person that will read everything I can on a subject matter, so that I can know what I am doing, and how to do it.
I have embraced adoption, fostercare and childhood trauma in the same way. But with this said, my children have brought me to a new understanding that asking for help does not mean you are helpless.
This last week has been the most challenging week of parenting we have had to date. T’s outbursts and meltdowns have gone from internal to external: kicking, screaming, raging, throwing stuff. Nothing works. When we tell him to do something he doesn’t want to do he replies with a raging “NEVER”! Taking privileges away do not work, he seemed unfazed that his siblings got to spend the day at the zoo, while he stayed home.
This led me to send a letter out to our ‘team’ this week asking for help, and admitting that some of this behavior is out of our ‘skill set’ to manage. It’s amazing how much our children can change us, and force us out of our comfort zone. It reminds me of the line from The Blind Side:
Beth: I think what you are doing is so great. Opening up your home to him… honey, you are changing that boy’s life.
Leigh Anne Touhy: No, he’s changing mine!!