This has been a very difficult few weeks for T. The last few weeks have included an increase in lies, throwing things, hitting and overall disobeying ‘house rules’ and school rules. I began looking back to try and figure out just when the trouble began, and what could have triggered it. The better we can understand the triggers the easier it is to cope with and be prepared for the emotions, or if possible avoid the triggers all together. I ask myself, “When did it start? Did anything change?”
I got a new tattoo a few weeks ago. It’s a memorial to my best friend, Annette who passed way last November. I came home that night, after getting my tattoo, and T ran up to me, greeting me at the door. “Mami did you get Bug and I’s name tattooed on your arm?”. I have a tattoo on my forearm in Sanskrit, it translates to “Sacred Family: Georges, Lola Diego”. All the kids know what it says, and I have told Bug and T that I would add their names to it. Honestly, I was just waiting for the adoption to be finalized. I could see the disappointment in his little face. I felt bad, but I had no idea, how deeply he was dealing with this, until I had a conversation with his therapist and we were trying to figure out the trigger for his latest emotional downturn. I mentioned this situation and she offered “He told me, Mami got a Tattoo for her friend that died”. Boom! there it was!
We figured out the trigger, now to figure out the emotion behind it? The tattoo is a permanent public statement of my love for my family. He still feels a little insecure about his place in the family. He still has doubts that he will stay with us forever, and that we love him. The tattoo would represent a commitment and a forever family, written in forever ink!